People are sharing the reality of being a carer and what they say will break your heart

“I want my mum back. All she is is pain and agony. It just hurts my soul.”

Reddit users are posting on the thread r/carer about the realities of being a carer and what they say is heartbreaking.

“Today is rough… I have all of the photos with my wife. Going on 3 years since her stroke, I find it harder and harder to match the woman in the pictures to my memories. I don't remember what she looked like. I don't remember what she sounded like. There is no “then”, there is only “now”. I am just tired. I see her struggle and it hurts me physically.”
u/claynert

“My dad is starting to get aggressive with anyone if they do things in ways that he doesn't believe is correct. He has no concept of the time of day, no concept of time progression. Also due to the strokes he has limited vision, cannot focus long enough on a spot to read anything, and sees things that are not there.”
u/Fornever_34

“Today I started crying… I managed to get two minutes to breathe in the bathroom… I just felt so weak, overwhelmed, shaky, barely there. I love taking care of people but it is hard, it is stressful, and I hate myself for feeling bad about my situation.”
u/JuicySuchi

“I want my mum back. All she is is pain and agony. All she can feel and focus on is her pain and agony. It just hurts my soul.”
u/Seeking-adventure

“My mum went from highly proactive, get-up-and-go, dog-walking everyday, fiercely independent woman to a zero-energy, mostly bedridden invalid with balance and dexterity issues in less that four months. In the last week, I've gone from solo living to living back with parents, taking care of my mum (who the doctors say has weeks not months) and my dad, who is losing the love of his life and is desperately looking for something to fix.”
u/cjfrankiewithnoplan

“I get paid to look after people. I can promise that I love them all, and always try to go above and beyond what is required. Today I lost someone and I’m really upset.”
u/25vossler

Employing a carer offers more than just physical support – a carer can offer a lifeline to families who are struggling to care for a loved one alone. Our clients often tell us that having someone to chat with over a cuppa is just as important as support with dressing and bathing. At Carer Payroll, we can help you make sure your carer is properly looked after. We’ll set you up as an employer and deal with all Revenue returns and correspondence, run your carer’s payroll, provide payslips and give unlimited help and advice on financial complexities, such as carer shares and splitting tax credits. We can also help you draft an employment contract tailored to your needs and budget and can help you claim 40% tax relief back on the cost. Get in touch and find out how we can help your family today.